Count the kicks!

I’ve been pretty quiet recently on the pregnancy blogging front so apologies! Fact is, I have been struggling with the terrible twos, a full time job, two fledgling businesses and pregnancy hormones – but I shall leave that for another time!

It’s been a stressful couple of weeks

This week – 9th to 15th October – marked Babyloss Awareness Week which culminated in a Wave of Light at 7pm on 15th October to mark the brief lives of babies lost in pregnancy or soon after birth. Lots of charities are involved, such as the Miscarriage Association, Action on Pre-Eclampsia, ARC (Antenatal Results and Choices), Bliss, the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust, Group B Strep Support, the Lullaby Trust, Sands and TAMBA. I feel quite ashamed in saying this, but I had never realised that this day of acknowledgement existed.

The first I heard of Babyloss Awareness Week was on Friday when I was driving home from a morning out with the toddler. I had Jeremy Vine on the radio (yes, I am a radio 2 geek!) and he was discussing the moving speech made by a female politician in the House of Commons.

Well it was so emotional

I had a lump in my throat and my eyes were stinging. All I could think of was my sleeping Cecily and how lucky I was to have her, to watch her grow a little bit each day into a beautiful, interesting and clever little girl. She lights up my life entirely. I would do absolutely anything for her. I thought how cruel it was that these men and women were not able to have this because their babies had been taken so soon and how lonely it must be. And I cried. And cried.

I thought about Baby Stock #2 and how excited we both are about its arrival and how devastating and soul destroying it would be if something unthinkable happened. All those hopes and dreams you have as a family unit, all that desperate love you have for something that has not yet entered the world, are smashed.

Panic in pregnancy

Last Saturday, I was told to go to the maternity unit because I had not felt any of the usual movements for about a day and a half. I was freaked out. I had never experienced this with my last pregnancy so the unknown was scary.

I was hooked up to a monitor and as soon as I heard the heartbeat I burst into tears! Usually, I hold my cards quite close to my chest when it comes to pregnancy. I worry about jinxing things if I am too excited or overly positive about something…I have no idea why, it’s just me!

So when I cried unexpectedly, it dawned on me how much I wanted Baby Stock #2 to be ok. I was so happy. It made me think of those that do not get that reassurance. So now I am going to be positive about the remainder of the pregnancy.

My reduced movements were due to the baby changing position, but also because I was feeling quite under the weather. I later found out this week that I have very low blood pressure and low iron levels, along with white blood cells in my urine so I am fighting an infection somewhere…results due in next week!

I was told to continue monitoring the baby’s movements from now on, especially as I am now in the third trimester and I was directed to the Kicks Count website.

This is such a fab website, full of really useful information. There is even a section for Dads which I am impressed by because they are often the forgotten ones. I am usually one to suffer in silence…very rarely will I call my midwife (much to Kristian’s annoyance!) but I was told that if I continued to experience reduced movements then call them straightaway.

Luckily I have not had to do that…phew! However knowing your baby and having knowledge of a pattern of movement is so important.

Having a relationship with your midwife is crucial. I am so lucky to have One to One midwives because the service they provide is second to none. Pregnancy can be lonely sometimes, especially if you feel silly asking things or you overthink things. Having a midwife to speak to (not google!) puts your mind at ease. After all, happy mummy equals happy baby.

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