Why ‘A Star is Born’ has stayed with me

I have not stopped thinking about A Star is Born since watching it the other week. It has stayed with me and affected me more than I first realised, hence why I am getting my thoughts down on virtual paper.

Tell me somethin’, girl

Are you happy in this modern world?

Or do you need more?

Is there somethin’ else you’re searchin’ for?

I’m falling

In all the good times I find myself

Longin’ for change

And in the bad times I fear myself

It’s this song. The lyrics really hit home for me.

Part of my therapy is working through my dissatisfaction with parts of my life that I should be satisfied with. Dissatisfaction is probably the wrong term for it. Call it not feeling fulfilment.

I am constantly searching in my life for excitement – whether that be relationship drama when I was younger, to working on projects, or having ideas for the next house. I am always looking forward and not always appreciating the here and now, yet I tend to live in the moment. Makes no sense but that is how my life is at present. I have no idea what I am searching for when, to an outsider, my life would look pretty perfect. This happens mostly when my life is settled, things are going well. If I am not searching then I am thinking and that is sometimes bad. I tend to overthink and that can spiral out of control leading to potential bad times, as in the song, which is then a very lonely and dark place.

It wasn’t just the song that resonated with me. The story line had me hooked from the beginning.

Disclaimer – I had not seen the previous remakes of the film so had no idea what the themes were. To say the ending was a shock for me was a bit of an understatement.  

I should have realised that this was going to end in tears.

The foreshadowing was there from the beginning. The noose ropes on the billboard. The musical lyrics. By the way, in most films you watch, there is always foreshadowing – look for it. Little tip there from Kristian who studied film for his degree.

I found parts of this film really uncomfortable to watch. I probably would have done before I had mental health issues because it an emotive subject, however it now hits home and that is what I find really uncomfortable. This is what I had intended to do to myself last year. The guilt comes back and it makes me sad and very ashamed that I felt that low and unlike myself that I considered doing that to myself.

Bradley Cooper’s character felt like a burden to those around him who loved him. Worthless. A person who, if he stuck around, would bring others down with him.

That’s how I felt.

I had no self confidence or self worth. I see that in his character too, his ways of coping, his mask that rarely slips. This was me [minus the recreational drugs!]

Things get better with talking.

Even though this film had to end tragically to bring about the incredibly poignant ending, it would have been great to end it with a failed attempt at suicide and then a recovery. Parts of this film really translate to real life, especially at present when people are starting to break down the stigma associated with mental illness and especially male mental illness.

Whilst the film’s story line was fantastic and heart breaking, it would have been so beneficial to have adapted it to show the journey and recovery of mental illness. To show that communication could have helped. That’s probably for another story though.

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